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Reisverslag Te Araroa New Zealand's long pathway Tears of rain
31 mei 2015
Te Araroa New Zealand's long pathway Tears of rain
New Zealand's long pathway
Tears of rain
"...Being alone for days in the wilderness makes your mind playing tricks on you..."
My shadow, my only friend that walks beside of me, patiently listens to what I have to say. But at night she scares the hell out of me. That's when she turns into a monster, hiding in the corners of the dark. Only to show herself in the beams of light created by the moon, shining through the gaps of a thick canopy.
I'm used to the load on my shoulders. But today my bag feels heavy. Taking me out of balance it makes me feel weary and tired. And like it couldn't get any worse, dark clouds start to pack. A north westerly rises, a sign that means no good.
"Is that all you got!" I shout to the strong gales. They give me a violent response, an attempt to blow me of the ridge.
But now it becomes a storm that I no longer can fight. The wind throws me of my feet. With my life depending I hold on every rock. Crawling through mud in seek of a save shelter. Like a last punishment she cuts the skin on my face, cold and unforgiving. I feel vulnerable and start to shiver. I hide deep in my only shelter, the thin layer of my coat.
Rain pours down like buckets thrown over my head, rivers start to flood. With a violent roar she destroys everything on her path. Determinate to get into safety I have to fight the currents, stronger than ever felt before. But then the worst enemy takes over; fear...
While the pushing water now reaches my waist, I can feel my feet start to slip away. For a moment I see no way out except of letting go. The last seconds of my life flashes through my head: drowning; my body being dragged on the bottom of the river; ripped a part on the sharp rocks to finally find peace in the endless deep and lonely seas. "No," I scream and raise my head to heaven:"I won't lose. I won't give up. Not this time. not ever. I will fight and fight till I reach the other side." And so I do.
My body starts to shake. I give a loud and strong roar. Like a gladiator that realizes he has won a battle not meant to survive. Never before I felt this strong. Never before I felt so alive.
The rain. I don't mind her so much. The drops on my face hide the tears when I'm crying. They hide the tears of pain in my feet and joints. They hide the sadness hidden deep in my soul. They hide the tears for all the stupid things I've ever done, for I never had the chance to set them right. Tears of anger, tears of loss, tears for tears...
Then a beam of sun breaks through. The storm in my hart eases. The rain disappears on the horizon and creates a magical rainbow in the sky. A smile rises on my face when the birds start to sing. The fog is clearing, good things are going to happen...
Suddenly I realize I'm high on the top of a volcano. I see the beautiful mountains and deep blue lakes surrounded by green forest as far as my eye can reach. Like a paradise created by angels.
This is the reward I fought for, so pure and intense. A feeling you just can't experience when it is reached out to you, easy to grab and take. An other tear rolls over my face, but this time it is one of joy and happiness, twinkling like a diamond in the setting sun.
A long distance walk like Te Araroa is a challenge not to underestimate. It won't be easy and will never be. There is no competition, at least no more than you make of it. It is a way to find your limits, to explore who you really are. It works like meditation, giving thoughts a place. For me it is the path to inner peace.
Now, if you still don't understand what it's all about there is only one thing left for me to say:"Take your backpack, put on your shoes and start walking. I challenge you!"
~ You can't lose only learn. If you learn you win. ~ Sam de reiziger